Tom Cruise Got His Thetans In A Bunch Over Bauer Media

MGM
MGM

Bauer Media are the publishers of Life & Style Magazine, who have been publishing a lot of accusations that Tom Cruise has more or less abandoned daughter Suri. This, of course, was the piece that launched a thousand libel lawsuits. Now RadarOnline has uncovered documents revealing his (and Scientology’s) legal strategy, which basically boils down to yelling “Nazi!” while couch jumping.

In a letter sent from Cruise attorney Bert Fields to Bauer, Fields resorts to some really bizarre ad hominems about how, in the 30s, the German Bauer Media supported the Nazis:

“This relentless defaming of Mr. Cruise and his Church is less surprising now that we have discovered Bauer’s long and disgraceful record of religious hatred any bigotry. “This appalling record goes back to the 30s and 40s, when Bauer Publishing was a fawning admirer of Hitler and the Nazis, publishing glamorous portraits of Der Führer … They also published vicious caricatures of Jews that were so popular in Germany at the time.”

We haven’t checked, but we’re pretty sure whoever was running Bauer Media in 1942 is no longer in charge of day to day operations alive. But whatever. The fact is that up until recently, Bauer produced Der Landser, an icky magazine that was a favorite of skinheads but they still maintain included no overt Aryan propaganda.

Another subsidiary produces pornography such as “Inglorious Bitches,” a bizarre French porn parody of “Inglorious Basterds”from the point of the nazis (which I scoped out for research purposes). It’s not cool.

Regardless, none of this has to do with the validity of the Cruise claims, nor about anything they’ve published about the cult of Scientology (who, by the way, has in the past called people pedophiles just because they were speaking out against them). Fields thinks that Bauer has shifted its editorial bashing, saying: “In the 1930s it was the Jews. Today it’s the Scientologists.” (Riiiight.)

This is a sticky situation all around, and there’s no way to tell whether Bauer – who are clearly under the control of Lord Xenu – will succeed in crushing “Mission Impossible 6.” Stay tuned.