Myla Sinanaj Wants to Wear Kim Kardashian’s Skin as a Suit

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Myla Sinanaj is the ex-girlfriend of Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kris Humphries. Myla already bore a passing resemblance to Kim, but now she wants plastic surgery to look even more like her. She also made a really boring porno just for shits and giggles (and exposure that never came).

So Michael Musto sat down with her for Gawker and, in between contemplating slipping ricin into his own drink, delved into her psyche.

What do you hope to accomplish with all this?
I’m trying a little bit of everything—music, film, TV. Why not try everything until you hit one? I want to host a TV show. I liked the old shows that used to be on MTV, like TRL—or Inside Edition or E! News.

So, essentially, she’s just scattershotting the media until someone thinks she’s good at something. So far this has included a horrifying music video for a song called “I’m No Angel,” with lyrics like “Can you handle that I’m curvy?” and “Have no reality show, but I am able.” Television executives take note.

Since you do virtually all things Kim-related, will you also marry Kanye West and have a biracial baby?
I doubt it. He has too many anger issues for me. He recorded his album out of my hotel. I met him when he was coming to meet Kim in the hotel. He brushes everybody off and thinks he’s better than everybody. He was not, “Hi, how are you? How can I help you?” He was standoffish.

At this point Musto is openly mocking her and she either A) doesn’t realize it, or B) is playing some sort of character. You decide.

Regardless, she says she probably won’t have a baby with Kanye West because he’s rude (no shit, lady) and completely ignores the fact that he would have to agree to have sex with her first. To Myla Sinanaj, there’s no question.

At least he didn’t hit on you. You’ve said that Khloe Kardashian’s husband, Lamar Odom, did so twice. Why did you come forward with that?
It was an accident. I was asked, “What do you think of the cheating thing?” I said, “I’m not surprised because he hit on me.” Obviously I didn’t think anything of it because I never called him back. He’s not my type. Not physically. When you know, you know.

She came forward with that so people like Michael Musto would ask her about it. Hook, line and sinker. Musto then reminds her that Lamar is married and Myla classily responds, “Yeah, that too. If I did anything, it’d just be a one-night stand. It would be a waste of time.”

It’s always good to keep a one night affair on the table. Just in case.

What’s your sex appeal?
My personality. I’m really fun. When you’re fun, it makes you more attractive. I’m laid back. I’m super chill.

Here Myla morphs into every single profile we’ve ever read on OkCupid — announcing to the world that she’s fun, laid back AND chill. Who wouldn’t want to hang with a person like that? Notice she didn’t say she was pretty or good at anything. Literally, her number one talent is chilling ability. (Fellas?)

Musto then begins to talk about Kim, asking why she’s with Kanye. Myla says it’s for media attention (shocking) and claims any eventual marriage won’t last (go figure). After a brief discussion of Kim’s alleged plastic surgery and some banter about sucking fat off of body parts and injecting it into others, they get to Myla’s porn debut:

Were you at all embarrassed to do a sex tape?
It took me two months to finally say “OK” and do it. I realized that for the people who did sex tapes—Pamela, Paris, Kim—it worked out in their favor. For the record, whenever you hear about a sex tape being leaked, a major company can’t leak anything without your signed consent. It’s a setup.

It’s worth noting that Pamela Anderson’s tape was literally stolen from her home and hosted on the internet without her permission. The same thing happened to Hilton, who was awarded $400,000 in damages that she didn’t need because of it. Anyway.

Just as I suspected. But were you surprised that you could do all that for a camera?
I definitely was. I hadn’t even hooked up with somebody months prior to that. I was drinking wine that day, but it ended up OK. I’ve watched it many times. I’m used to it by now. It’s not that big of a deal. People make such a big deal out of it, as if they don’t have sex every night.

Well, we definitely don’t have calculated sex on camera to broker a deal with smut peddlers. But we get what you mean, Myla. NBD.