Years before Jennifer Lawrence became everyone’s first-round draft pick in Fantasy BFF leagues the world over, Kelly Clarkson was winning hearts and minds with her angelic voice, girl-next-door sensibilities and willingness to tell industry titans like Clive Davis to kiss her (unashamedly) ample ass.
So when she got married a month ago, pretty much everyone did a collective “d’awwww.” She said she wanted to be knocked up by Christmas — and by God, when Kelly speaks, ovum listen.
I'm pregnant!!! Brandon and I are so excited! Best early Christmas present ever :)
— Kelly Clarkson (@kelly_clarkson) November 19, 2013
Assuming she wasn’t holding a dripping pee stick when she typed that and instead observed the customary “don’t announce until the second trimester” tradition, that means she’s been knocked up since roughly the third week of August — which is exactly when she and then-fiance Brandon Blackstock announced they were ditching their plans for a big wedding and eloping instead.
They didn’t officially tie the knot until Oct. 20, but in the days directly before and after, Kelly said they wanted behbehs immediately and that Brandon’s peen was on call at all times to make it happen. Which was pretty strong foreshadowing for “yeah, I’m already preggers but it’s none of your damned business just yet.”
Normally I don’t much care about the state of celebrity uterui (it’s the plural of uterus because I say it is) but this particular pregnancy is worth a mention. Because admit it — you’re already a little jealous of that kid.