Don’t Be Fooled By the Rock That She Got, She’s Still Jenny With a New Kid on the Block

Hope you've had your shots, Donnie
Hope you’ve had your shots, Donnie

Subtitle: Three-Time Razzie Award Winner Who People Used To Want To See Naked Engaged to “Entourage” Creator Mark Wahlberg’s Older Brother Who Used to Be Kind Of Relevant

That’s right, your favorite “danger to public welfare” Jenny McCarthy is back in the news, but this time it’s more awwtism than autism (shut up). Despite her earlier protests that she would never again get married, the former host of “Singled Out” and star of a shoe commercial that depicted her with her underwear around her ankles just accepted a proposal from boyfriend Donnie Wahlberg, who was NKOTB’s bad boy if you believe NKOTB was capable of having such things.

The individual-responsible-for-the-spread-of-preventable-diseases was thrilled to accept a substantial yellow sapphire rock from the individual-responsible-for-the-spread-of-boy-bands-like-One-Direction. Unfortunately, Wahlberg did not simply say “please don’t go, girl,” “you got the right stuff” and I want to be “hangin’ tough” with you forever (which, come on, would’ve been cheestastically awesome) but instead enlisted McCarthy’s son to hold up signs asking her to marry Donnie because that’s not emotionally manipulative at all.

The how-are-these-two-not-irrelevant-by-now couple are planning an August 2015 wedding. We expect Debbie Gibson will officiate and the pair will exchange vows and his-and-hers snap bracelets.

In happier news, Jim Carrey is somewhere breathing a sigh of relief and hoping this means the 2am texts will finally stop.

[photos via Twitter/ABC]

Jenny McCarthy’s Not Doing So Hot On ‘The View’

Screen Shot 2013-10-14 at 10.42.47 AM

Earlier this year Elizabeth Hasselbeck (a shrill conservative) left “The View” and was promptly replaced by Jenny McCarthy (a shrill pharmaceutical conspiracy theorist). That hasn’t gone very well.

RadarOnline spoke with one of their shadowy figure sources in the know, who told them Jenny hasn’t been testing well with audiences:

“ABC has begun doing deep research on Jenny’s work on the show and the initial findings are that viewers want to tune out the second she opens her mouth! The data has revealed that she is FAR more off-putting than Elisabeth.”

They also report that even though show honcho Barbara Walters isn’t looking to replace Jenny just yet, “she is obsessed with ratings and the longevity of the show, so Jenny needs to turn it around or she will be gone.”

In the world of “The View,” Barbara Walters is god. But who would have thought that people don’t want to hear a former Playboy Playmate spout pseudo-science and twerking at them?

Then again, the “View” audience has no problem with Sherri Shepherd disbelieving in evolution and not knowing the earth is a sphere. So when they turn on Jenny, you know things are rough.

But, hey. Maybe MTV will bring her back to host “Singled Out” with cast members of “Jersey Shore” and “Buckwild” and drive that final nail into our cultural coffin.