Someone Get Farrah Abraham an Emmy Already

It’s been a big year for Farrah Abraham, previously of MTV’s “Teen Mom 2.” First she released her hardcore porn debut, “Back Door Teen Mom,” then she proceeded to go cross country and make appearances in strip clubs with her tits pushed up and charge money for photographs with her. But now that Farrah’s done anal on camera, she wants to go to the next step: daytime soap operas.

So Farrah recorded a “Days of Our Lives” audition tape that’s one of the best things you’ll ever see — almost as if she wanted Christmas to come early. In it she memorizes nothing and instead opts to pause every 15 seconds and read lines off her phone. Just like Meryl Streep.

She’s reading the role of “Destiny” who — surprise, surprise — happens to be a hooker. And she apparently filmed it in her bathroom (alternately known as the douche chamber).┬áBut there’s more! Because standing alone with a cell phone wasn’t very compelling, she also recorded another version with a male companion who actually manages to be worse than she is.

It is exquisite.

Alas, the people at “Days” didn’t feel sold, and so she did not get the part. But hopefully she’s not dejected because we would very much like to see Farrah audition for “Boardwalk Empire” or “The Walking Dead.” (She already acts fairly zombie-like, anyway. Also, ZOMBIE SEX.)