Suzanne Somers Is Your New Go-To Policy Advisor on Obamacare

Chrissy Snow cares not for facts
Chrissy Snow cares not for facts

Suzanne Somers — who made a name for herself going braless on “Three’s Company” and shilling sophisticated merchandise like the ThighMaster — has opinions. Many opinions. And when she isn’t curing cancer, she’s opening her mouth and letting them fall out.

In a self-penned Wall Street Journal article subtly titled “The Affordable Care Act Is a Socialist Ponzi Scheme,” Somers says her husband is Canadian so of course that makes her an expert on the Canadian nationalized health care system.

She rattles off a couple personal anecdotes (HORSES GET BETTER HEALTH CARE THAN PEOPLE DO IN CANADA, YOU GUYS) and engages in some cliched fear-mongering and misinformation before musing:

And then there is another consideration: It’s the dark underbelly of the Affordable Care Act reminiscent of what Lenin and Churchill both said. Lenin: “Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state.” Churchill: “Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens.”

Except, uh, neither Lenin nor Churchill said that shit. As The Atlantic points out:

Churchill wasn’t a huge fan of Britain’s health system in his later years, but he helped set it up. There’s no record that he said anything about its being a tool for control. And that Lenin quote? Made up.

What is this world coming to when you can’t even rely on washed-up sitcom stars for medical advice anymore?

Jesus. We’re so distraught we had to watch Kristen Wiig doing a dramatic reading from “Touch Me: The Poems of Suzanne Somers” just to cheer ourselves up. (You? Are welcome.)