Here’s Joaquin Phoenix’s 19-year-old Girlfriend

The bowels of the Twitterverse
The bowels of the Twitterverse

Joaquin Phoenix is notoriously a little strange. He’s prone to long stints away from the public eye, juxtaposed with very public and weird stunts. This oddness apparently extends into his personal life, because he’s allegedly dating a teenager.

Allie Teilz is a 19 year old from Arizona who fancies herself a DJ (how cute). The pair supposedly met when she was deejaying at No Vacancy and the two have been officially tempting Chris Hansen since May.

E! posted a photo of Joaquin (who’s 39) and Allie canoodling in Rome over the weekend like a couple of hapless hipsters, along with some tidbits from a profile on her from Bullet magazine, including these amazing factoids:

  • She described herself as a loner “in high school” – oh, so long ago
  • “Teilz also admits to being a huge fan of R. Kelly and said she’d like to be ‘his bitch.” Fantastic.
  • At least once source describes her high school demeanor as “very emo.”

It just goes to show you: when Courtney Stodden/Doug Hutchison close a creepy relationship door, the flying spaghetti monster opens a creepy relationship window.