Michael Bay’s Hong Kong Attacker was a Zombie Now

Chill, bro. Hey, do you like cars?
Chill, bro. Hey, do you like cars?

Yesterday we learned that Michael Bay was decked by some dude while filming “Transformers 4” because he wouldn’t pay the guy extortion money. Michael Bay got a smack down, cops came. Guys were arrested. End of story, right? Well, no. Because Michael Bay says he actually evaded the assault with his cat-like reflexes and that the assailant was an undead cadaver.

Here’s his recollection of the story:

Hi, it’s Michael.

Yes, the story is being passed around is not all true! Yes, some drugged up guys were being belligerent asses to my crew for hours in the morning of our first shoot day in Hong Kong. One guy rolled metal carts into some of my actors trying to shake us down for thousands of dollars to not play his loud music or hit us with bricks.

Every vendor where we shot got paid a fair price for our inconvenience, but he wanted four times that amount. I personally told this man and his friends to forget it we were not going to let him extort us. He didn’t like that answer. So an hour later he came by my crew as we were shooting, carrying a long air conditioner unit. He walked right up to me and tried to smack my face, but I ducked threw the air unit on the floor and pushed him away. That’s when the security jumped on him. But it took seven big guys to subdue him. It was like a Zombie in Brad Pitt’s movie World War Z—he lifted seven guys up and tried to bite them. He actually bit into one of the guards Nike shoe, insane. Thank god it was an Air Max, the bubble popped, but the toe was saved.

Then it took fifteen Hong Kong cops in riot gear to deal with these punks. In all, four guys were arrested for assaulting the officers.

After that, we had a great day shooting here in Hong Kong. The place couldn’t be better.

Get all that? Michael Bay karate chopped a man, threw an air conditioner into the air which exploded (while Joe Esposito’s “You’re the Best” played overhead) and then watched as the man (who was a corpse) violently threw off multiple police officers. Seems legit.

The only lingering question is whether or not this zombie was sent by Megan Fox for revenge.