Justin Bieber Had a Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Time in Brazil

The trail of slime Justin Bieber‘s “Believe” tour is leaving behind as it winds its way around the globe is typical only of snails, snakes and possibly Joe Francis. And this weekend’s stopover in Brazil was no exception.

On Friday, the Biebs was caught on camera being hustled out of a brothel by his security team while badly losing the “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me” game — because even though they had the Boy King covered in a sheet, some of his telltale ill-advised ink was showing and gave him away.

Page Six reported:

The 19-year-old pop star and a friend spent more than three hours in the popular whorehouse Centauros in Rio de Janeiro — before leaving with two women, sources said. He jumped into the back seat of a car while the women, who covered their faces, were put in SUVs and escorted back to his hotel.

Bieber was later kicked out of the hotel for breaking rules, the Brazilian news Web site EGO reported. But another source insisted that Bieber left because hordes of fans mobbed the place, a creating a “security issue.”

Sources at the hotel claimed he and his crew had for days been partying, doing drugs and disturbing people, according to EGO. The singer, who had been staying at the upscale Copacabana Palace hotel in southern Rio, moved his entourage to a rented mansion in a gated community, the site reported.

A spokesman for Bieber declined comment.

(For the record, prostitution is legal in Brazil but brothels are not. Bieber should’ve stuck with freelance whores.)

That brings us to Saturday night, when Justin was apparently so exhausted from his paid sexytime that he was three hours late to a meet and greet that fans paid upwards of $1000 to attend. Then he was about 90 minutes late starting his concert in Rio, where he endeared himself to the locals by kicking their national flag around.

One or all of the above pissed someone off, because video shows a water bottle being flung at Bieber mid-show, hitting his face and knocking the mic right out of his hands. He then stormed off stage — but not before shooting the crowd a look that, had he been a wizard, would’ve turned them all into one-eyed newts.

The audience reportedly chanted for about half an hour to try to get him to come back (even breaking into an impromptu singalong of “Baby”), but to no avail. By then he’d already gone back to the hotel, put on his footie pajamas, and settled down with a bottle of warm milk and a hooker or two.