Evil Paparazzi Caused Dina Lohan to Drive Drunk


Dina Lohan appeared in court today for her drunk driving arrest last month with an alleged BAC of .2 and, as per usual, was all ready to pin this thing on the real villain: paparazzi.

Mark Heller, her self-parodying lawyer, gave a statement after the hearing, saying:

“It is the professional opinion of the evaluator that the circumstances leading to Dina’s arrest were largely caused by ongoing daily stresses caused by you folks the paparazzi, media attention and distorted tabloid character profiles.”

“After meeting Dina and her family and witnessing the care, compassion and concern shared by family members,  it is my hope that the courts will take the challenges of Dina’s lifestyle under consideration in prosecuting this case.”

It sounds like Heller may enjoy the gin made in Lindsay Lohan‘s childhood bathtub just as much as Dina does.

The paparazzi excuse is cute, but completely fails to explain Dina’s drunken stupors the other 364 days of the year. Not to mention that judges don’t typically let people go just because they have a family who cares about them (which, in Dina’s case, is dubious).

It’s not clear whether Dina seriously thinks this approach will work, but she probably does. She’s 51 and still believes the Whiskey Fairy raids her liquor cabinets.

(Hint: It’s Ali.)