Cher to Miley Cyrus: Bitch, Have a Seat

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It’s been a month since Miley Cyrus made a nation cringe in unison during the VMAs, but someone just got around to asking Cher what she thought about it.

Most of the celebrities who’ve been asked to comment thus far have said various versions of “hey, that’s what the VMAs are all about” or “Miley’s just growing up” or “please stop talking to me because I’m not used to lying this much at once.”

But ask Cher for an opinion? Diva don’t play.

“[It was] so bad … She could have come out naked, and if she’d just rocked the house, I would have said, ‘You go, girl.’ It just wasn’t done well.

She can’t dance, her body looked like hell, the song wasn’t great, one cheek was hanging out. And, chick, don’t stick out your tongue if it’s coated.”

Wow, lookit that. Cher just became a human shade tree!

And she wasn’t done yet, either. In the days after the VMA debacle, Miley pretended not to understand the fuss and even said everyone else was thinking about the whole thing more than she ever did. But according to Cher, therein lies the problem.

“If you’re going to go that far [with a performance],” she said, “then think about it before you do it.”

Anything else, Lady Truth-Teller?

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Unfortunately, Cher’s now backtracked a little bit, using her Twitter account to say that while she’s not sorry for her opinions, she probably should’ve kept them to herself. (Why the hell would she start doing that now?)