Charlie Sheen’s Twins Are Back With Their Mom and He’s Totally Losing His Shit Over It

Stand back. He could blow at any minute.
Stand back. He could blow at any minute.

The sad, sad saga of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller‘s twin sons Bob and Max has a whole new chapter — and it’s already making Charlie come unglued.

Once Denise Richards was forced to wash her lovely hands of the situation (because the kids have all the hallmarks of miniature serial killers in the making), it left the boys sorta homeless because Child Services had already deemed both their parents unfit for custody. That’s when Brooke’s brother Scott stepped in and volunteered to take them.

Trouble is, Scott lives quite a ways away from where Bob and Max have been living, so in order to keep them from having to switch schools, a judge okay’d Scott (and the kids) moving in to Brooke’s house. Which is, you know, weird since Brooke isn’t allowed to have them in her care — yet what just happened is she got her kids back. With a full-time manny, even.

Suffice it to say that shoved Charlie right off the edge on which he already spends most of his days precariously teetering — so of course he immediately took to Twitter and promptly violated a gag order barring him from talking about the custody case publicly.

so lemme see if I got this straight.
my twin boys are now in harms way and in grave danger.
being “raised” by a gaggle
of incompetent and lascivious
marionettes all ruled and fooled by an adderol snorting
husk called Brooke.

and guess what CPS and
“I’m Italian” judge anus-brain,
you may have gagged me temporarily, but mark my unspoken words,
anything happens to my boys,
and you will know get to know me,
know who I truly am,
a loving father.
tag – I’m it.

And then:

and if this means being jailed
for loving and trying to protect my children,
then go for it.
I have as many friends on
the inside as i do out here.
my passion WILL NOT be silenced.
you are all now standing in my way.
I’d recommend a shift in
your geography.

The kicker to all this is Brooke’s house and Charlie’s house are both in the same gated community — he bought her the nearby pad (during happier, less gag-ordery times) so he’d be able to see their boys on the regular. Which means this new custody arrangement will quite literally be going on right under his nose.

That’ll end well.

(Oh, and fair warning: I call dibs on “Judge Anus-Brain” next Halloween.)