Sinead Wars: Return of the Famewhore

PEW PEW
PEW PEW

Not long ago, in a galaxy we wish was far, far away … pop culture was at war.

As we all know, after Miley Cyrus said Sinead O’Connor was the inspiration for her “Wrecking Ball” video, Sinead called her a dirty harlot in an open letter (let’s remember Sinead shot first, people). Then earlier today Miley tweeted some screencaps of Sinead’s old tweets, accusing her and Amanda Bynes of being nuts (a true but unclassy statement).

Now Sinead has fired off a second open letter to Miley, and the gloves (and breathing helmets) are off. Continue reading Sinead Wars: Return of the Famewhore

Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus: You’s a Ho

Nothing Compares 2 Ur Sluttiness
Nothing Compares 2 Ur Sluttiness

Miley Cyrus recently went on record proclaiming her infamous “Wrecking Ball” video was inspired by Sinead O’Connor‘s 1990 video for “Nothing Compares 2 U.”

Now Sinead, who’s pretty much the greatest role model in the world, has responded in an open letter, essentially calling Miley an unloved harlot. Here are some choice snippets (spelling/grammatical errors intact). Continue reading Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus: You’s a Ho

Lorde Shades Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift, Makes You Want to Hug Her in the Process

PREACH, GIRL
PREACH

Ella Yelich-O’Connor, the New Zealand-born singer publicly known as Lorde, may only be 16 years old, but her balls are coming in nicely.

In two separate interviews over the past few months, she managed to get digs in at Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez — and it didn’t sound catty either time. In fact, if you have a kid sister or a daughter her age (or if you are her age), you should be hailing this girl as the Gloria Steinem of the under-21 set.

First, back in June — well before she hit the top of the iTunes charts with the super-catchy “Royals” — New York magazine asked Lorde if any of her ex-boyfriends should be “worried” about the album she was working on. She replied:

“No, no. I try to stay away from talking about boys all the time. You can go to Taylor Swift to hear that.”

Zing.

And then, when Radio New Zealand asked her recently to comment on how women are portrayed in pop music, she said:

“A song came out recently by a big pop star [Selena Gomez] and the lyrical thing is ‘when you’re ready come and get it, I’ll be sitting right here just waiting’ and I just find that so pathetic and I don’t think girls should be listening to that kind of thing and I don’t think that is normal or healthy … I love pop music on a sonic level. But I’m a feminist and the theme of her cover, ‘Come & Get It,’ is ‘When you’re ready come and get it from me.’ I’m sick of women being portrayed this way.”

For chrissakes. Asking me a question like that at 16 would’ve yielded not much more than a slow blink in return, but Lorde is all articulate answers and take-no-prisoners sass and fearless honesty. And after months of Miley Cyrus‘ faux riot grrl bullshit, it’s almost enough to make one weep with joy.

[h/t Fishwrapper]

If Jimmy Kimmel Winds Up Dead, Here’s Your Prime Suspect

http://youtu.be/It05EvqFD6s

Because there’s little more delightful than two famous rich guys having a public slapfight, we present to you “Kanye vs. Kimmel: The Reckoning.”

Earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel spoofed a BBC interview Kanye West did by having a child spout off the ridiculous things he said. It took West a day or so to see the video, but when he did, he fired up Twitter, hit his caps-lock key, and got busy. Super busy. Nuclear busy. YEEZUS CHRIST CALM DOWN ALREADY busy.

The rant that followed (since deleted) was so over-the-top and profane and utterly comical that it’s no wonder a lot of people thought the whole thing had to be a joke. But in the video above from Thursday night, you’ll see Kimmel saying the beef is legit.

It’s so nice when fatherhood shows a man what really matters, isn’t it?

Leah Remini to Scientology: Come at Me, Bros

ABC
ABC

Ever since leaving the Church of Scientology, Leah Remini‘s been making it her mission to expose their creepy inner workings — like a boss.

First she forced church leader David Miscavige to produce his wife, who hadn’t been seen in years because she was hidden away in one of their compounds. And now Leah’s on “Dancing with the Stars,” where she’s continued to hammer on their weird head games.

Leah took some time out from two-stepping to snipe the church on a recent episode, saying:

“I’m going through a personal big change for me and my family … I was always so scared to be myself … You’re used to everything that happens to us is our fault. You’re used to taking a lot of negativity on yourself … The church is looking for me to fail so they can say to their parishioners, ‘See what happens when you leave the church?'”

This might seem ridiculous to you, given that religions have never ever pressured people into feeling bad about who they are. (Especially not the gays.)

But like the true mean girls they are, the Church of Scientology later released an official statement to ABC News that read:

“We know this may come as a surprise to someone as self-absorbed as Ms. Remini, but we could care less if she wins or loses on ‘Dancing With the Stars.'”

Setting aside the fact that they have terrible grammar and forgot to add “Leah Remini is a grotsky little biotch,” their response sure seems like they care. Probably because she’s been labeled a “suppressive person” and is no longer fit to have secret ghost sex with L. Ron Hubbard.

Lindsay Lohan Might Wake Up With a Horse Head, Courtesy of Oprah

Keep smiling or I'll cuttabitch.
Keep smiling or I’ll cuttabitch.

Lindsay Lohan is (allegedly) still clean following her most recent stint in rehab, but since she probably doesn’t want to be stuck doing dreck like “The Canyons” forever, Oprah‘s been helping a sissah out.

First there was the post-rehab sit-down during which LiLo was dubbed Obvious, Queen of Obviousness after admitting she’s an addict. But that was only the first part of the collaboration — they’re also working on an eight-part docuseries about Lindsay’s life. And in exchange for all this, Oprah’s writing her a $2 million check.

But Lindsay must have mistaken the Big O for someone who’d put up with her shit, because according to TMZ, “Lindsay was a disaster at the beginning of the project — at times just being a no-show” and later blaming it on her super busy schedule that included “spending time trying to find an apartment in NYC, other projects she was trying to finish, ‘miscommunications’ between her people and the folks at OWN,” etc.

When Oprah was done laughing at the “other projects” thing, she paid a personal visit to Lohan, channeled her best Marlon Brando, and made Lindsay an offer she couldn’t refuse: Stop screwing around or the docuseries and the 2 mil were history. Capiche?

Since that friendly little chat, sources say everyone’s favorite effed-up ginger has been minding her Ps and Qs, but Oprah’s still watching her little investment “like a hawk.”
 
strictly-business

Lamar Odom’s Father Shades the Kardashians, Has More Sense Than His Son

Twitter
Twitter

Lamar Odom — husband of the super-sad emo-quote-posting Khloe Kardashian — was lured from his underground crack den today to defend those helpless Kardashians from the scurrilous words uttered by his own father.

Joe Odom gave an exclusive interview to Radar yesterday, and it was divine. Here are just a few of his choice quotes:

“The mother has been talking a lot of trash about my son, saying he’s on drugs and stuff like that. She’s got something against my son, something against my family. Kris Jenner is very negative. She’s an evil bitch. She doesn’t care about Lamar, she just cares about their image and money.”

“[The Kardashians] don’t give a fuck about my son. It’s more about the damage they do to the Kardashian brand. They brought him down. He’d be better off without them. Let him go, get his life together.”

“I wish he had never got married to Khloe to be honest. She’s controlling. Those Kardashian women all are. You get married they think they wear the pants. You just bring them your whole paycheck, that’s how it works.”

So! It looks like Joe totally knows what’s up.

But The Mother (God how I love that) must have sent word to Lamar to sober up, sucker, because no one could find his Twitter password and the shit one of her minions wrote would be a lot harder to pass off as his if it didn’t actually come from his account.

And suddenly, after more than two months of silence, Lamar’s account was alive with the sound of shade. First there was this:

https://twitter.com/RealLamarOdom/status/382665562926489600

But people probably thought that was about the Kardashians (hey, if the heavily-sponsored shoe fits), which meant a much wordier follow-up was in order:

Won’t continue 2 speak on this but I have got 2 let this out real quick. I have let this man and many others get away with a lot of shit. He wasn’t there 2 raise me. He was absent ALL of my life due to his own demons. My mother and grandmother raised me. Queens raised me.

For the first time since they left, came a blessing of a FAMILY that I married into. FAMILY. That man wasn’t even invited to my wedding. He has never met my mother in law and some of my other family. How can a man who has NOT once called me to check on my well being have the nerve to talk so recklessly about his own “son”. He is my downfall! His own demons may be the ONLY thing he gave 2 me.

He disrespecting the ONLY FAMILY that has loved me without expecting anything in return. They are the ONLY ones that have been here consistently 4 me during this dark time. Only person 2 blame is myself. Say what you want about me but leave the ones who have done nothing but protect and love me out of this! This goes to out to everyone!

Lamar’s sudden burst of Kardashian family pride may or may not have something to do with the fact that The Mother is the one who hired prominent lawyer Robert Shapiro to rep Lamar in his DUI case. TMZ says his arraignment is on Friday, and someone (either Shapiro or Lamar himself) has to show up, or an arrest warrant will be issued.

Everyone’s pretty sure Lamar won’t be there, which means if Shapiro is suddenly off the case — because maybe, you know, The Mother pulls him — Lamar’s legal woes could get incrementally worse.

But that probably has nothing to do with any of this. Nothing at all.

Attention, Authors of Popular Fiction: Stephen King Is Sick of Your Bullshit

School's in session, bitches.
School’s in session, bitches.

Stephen King can pretty much do whatever he wants at this point. He’s rich. He doesn’t need to write, but he does anyway because he loves it. He likes telling stories and honing his craft. He also has no patience for writers who are lazy.

So when he sat down with The Guardian to plug “Doctor Sleep,” his upcoming sequel to “The Shining,” he let a bunch of shitty-but-popular writers have it.

When asked for his thoughts on Stephanie Meyer‘s “Twilight,” King referenced characters from his new tome to illustrate his thoughts, saying:

“I agree with Abra’s teacher friend who calls ‘Twilight‘ and books like it tweenager porn … They’re really not about vampires and werewolves. They’re about how the love of a girl can turn a bad boy good.”

But he didn’t stop there. He also took aim at the “Hunger Games” franchise (brainchild of Suzanne Collins), which is essentially a watered-down, Americanized version of “Battle Royale“:

“I read ‘Twilight’ and didn’t feel any urge to go on with her. I read ‘The Hunger Games’ and didn’t feel an urge to go on. It’s not unlike [my own]  ‘The Running Man,’ which is about a game where people are actually killed and people are watching: a satire on reality TV.”

Of course, King has to mention “The Running Man,” which came out in the late ’80s, making it a precursor to both “Battle Royale” and “Hunger Games.”

And because he was on a roll, and still giving zero shits, he moved on to more adult books and “Fifty Shades of Grey,” saying:

“I read ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’and felt no urge to go on. They call it mommy porn, but it’s not really mommy porn. It is highly charged, sexually driven fiction for women who are, say, between 18 and 25.”

King has sparred with Stephanie Meyer before, comparing “Twilight” to “Harry Potter” in 2009 by saying, “The real difference is that Jo [J.K.] Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn.” But this is the first time we’ve seen him snipe at the other two series.

It’s nice to see somebody say what we’re all thinking — particularly someone sitting at the top of American literary prominence. (It’s also nice to see somebody who wants to weigh in on their field and not Miley Cyrus.)

We only wish we could see the looks on these ladies’ faces when they read his interview.

the-shining-front-page-portable

Jon Gosselin Could Be Your New George Zimmerman

TLC
TLC

Ever since his messy, public divorce and the loss of his reality show, Jon Gosselin has been living the good life – waiting tables like a poor and shacking up in a bachelor pad where he can take ladies back to play Grand Theft Auto V.

But today his idyllic private life was threatened by a paparazzi who followed him home (because she was silly enough to assume shots of Jon Gosselin were still worth money) and got chased off his property at gunpoint.

TMZ reports that the photog followed Jon back to his cabin in Beckersville, PA, unaware it was a private road. Jon pulled a gun out of the back of his pants like an extra in a Mark Wahlberg movie and began yeling at her for trespassing, squeezing off a warning shot. He then followed her all the way back to the main road as she got the hell out of there.

Setting aside the fact that Jon Gosselin now lives in a cabin like Paul Bunyon but with a shit ton of children, how great is it that dirty Jonny is carrying around a gun?

What happens if, when he’s pulling it out, it gets tangled in one of those plastic, fold-out, accordion picture holders of the kids? Or all the condoms he has to carry on him to appease the swarming masses of ladies who want his fat stacks from waiting tables?

The pap said she plans on filing a police report. We guess that means she’s going to admit to trespassing? Not sure how that works, but good luck.

05df31c1