Brittany Murphy Might Have Been Poisoned

Wait. What?

Actress and singer (really, chick could wail) Brittany Murphy was just 32 when she died of pneumonia and anemia in 2009. She was an itty bitty wisp of a girl, so of course her untimely death (and health problems in the months before) made people whisper “anorexia” and “drugs” because come on — pneumonia and anemia? She wasn’t a character in “Little Women,” for chrissakes.

Then, just five months later, her husband Simon Monjack also tragically passed away. He was only 40. And the coroner said pneumonia and anemia killed him too. So this whole thing has always been more than a little weird.

Brittany’s father, Angelo Bertolotti, didn’t think things added up, so he went to court to obtain samples of his daughter’s hair, blood and tissue for independent testing. Now that it’s been done, the results are … well, damned frightening is what they are.

“Ten (10) of the heavy metals evaluated were detected at levels higher than the WHO [The World Health Organization] high levels … If we were to eliminate the possibility of a simultaneous accidental heavy metals exposure to the sample donor then the only logical explanation would be an exposure to these metals (toxins) administered by a third party perpetrator with likely criminal intent.”

Heavy metals, by the way, are often found in things like, oh, you know, rat poison. And according to the lab report, the “levels of heavy metals detected in Brittany Murphy’s hair were from 2 to over 9 times higher than the levels set as ‘high’ by The World Health Organization.”

Symptoms of acute heavy metal poisoning in humans can include headache, dizziness, gastrointestinal, neurological, respiratory, or dermal symptoms such as abdominal cramps, tremors, tachycardia, sweating, disorientation, coughing, wheezing, congestion, and pneumonia. Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack exhibited all of these symptoms prior to their untimely deaths.

In other words, it’s entirely possible someone intentionally poisoned them. And as cloak-and-dagger as that sounds, it makes a lot more sense than two young people dying of pneumonia and anemia mere months apart.

“Vicious rumors, spread by tabloids, unfairly smeared Brittany’s reputation. My daughter was neither anorexic nor a drug junkie, as they repeatedly implied,” Mr. Bertolotti said. “I will not rest until the truth about these tragic events is told. There will be justice for Brittany.”

What in the actual hell is going on here? No, seriously.