Billy Zane Blames ‘Breaking Bad’ for the Government Shutdown. Naturally.

This looks sane.
This looks sane.

Billy Zane is a pretty astute arbiter of problems. Look how well he handled Rose cheating on him in “Titanic” — he ran around shooting a gun without aiming it.

So when it comes to the partial government shutdown, it’s only natural that he has the whole thing figured out. And he does. He explained everything on his Twitter account, pointing the finger at “Breaking Bad” in a completely rational and not-at-all-batshit-crazy kind of way.

Of course! Why didn’t we think of this before? Government is inefficient because of Walter White, a fictional television anti-hero. ¬†At least we think that’s what he’s saying. It sort of sounds like he was just opening books and selecting words at random (not a bad way to compose tweets or explain breaking news).

Look, we’ll do it right now:

Billy Zane? Hilly Plain! Walter White? Potato fight! This happens Canada if public drinks meth instead of goats. Gravitas.

Totally works.

But Mr. Zane may have a point here. Maybe House Republicans are a bunch of useless snakes because they see no reason to keep working now that “Breaking Bad” is off the air. They have no reason to do anything, really.

Maybe this was show creator Vince Gilligan‘s plan all along: to lull America into a daze and then end his series, only to stage a takeover of the government after we’re all bored on Sunday nights. It all makes sense.

America, bow before the face of your new overlord. Billy Zane would not lie.

THE FACE OF EVIL
THE FACE OF EVIL