Anthony Weiner Loses Big, Flashes the Least Offensive Thing He Has

Unsurprisingly, Anthony Weiner will not be the Democratic mayoral candidate for New York City. He officially conceded on Tuesday night, but since he came in fifth place, he really didn’t have to bother.

And as he exited his “victory” party (thanks for classing the joint up, Sydney Leathers!), he bid a fond farewell to his friends in the media.

It’s a bird! It’s a pla—-no, it’s just a bird.

Eh, big deal. Look, if Anthony Weiner’s going to flash something at you, better a finger than anything else.

My question is, how many dick pics do you suppose he sent out last night? I mean, you have to assume the only thing stopping him from REALLY going wild was the mayoral race, and now that that’s over, I’m betting a whole bunch of people got Carlos Danger’ed last night.

So if you see a cell phone this morning stinking of gin and doing a walk of shame, spare it a kind word. You have no idea what it’s been through.