Universe Exacts Revenge on Ashton Kutcher By Giving Him a Daughter

Maybe they'll name her Meg

Maybe they’ll name her Meg

Mila Kunis could quite literally have just about any man (or, really, any woman) she wants. Which makes it all the more puzzling that she sifted through the world’s population of roughly 7 billion people and plucked out … Ashton Kutcher.

But because we are not meant to understand all of life’s little mysteries, the former “That ’70s Show” co-stars are now engaged and even expecting a baby together. And while I may think Ashton is a lying, cheating piece, there’s little question that he’s a pretty lying, cheating piece, so the blending of his DNA with Mila’s should, in theory anyway, produce a beautiful child.

And according to Us Weekly, that genetically gifted offspring will be a girl.

Although the daughter-to-be will be the first child for both Kunis, 30, and Kutcher, 36, the ‘Two and Half Men’ hunk “got plenty of practice with Demi’s girls,” one pal notes. Indeed, for six years, Kutcher was famously stepdad to Rumer, 25, Scout, 22, and Tallulah, 20, ex-wife Demi Moore‘s kids with Bruce Willis.

Ecstatic for impending fatherhood, “Ashton is doting on Mila,” another friend notes of the reformed party boy, who’s already lining up playdates with the couple’s old “That ’70s Show” costar Danny Masterson and Fianna, his 2-month-old daughter.

What all this means is in just a few years, Ashton will be threatening the lives of boys just like him — proving karma does exist after all.