Yesterday Was a Bad Day to Be Justin Bieber’s BFF

You know you're jelly of those onesies

You know you’re jelly of those onesies

By now, pretty much everyone knows the LAPD busted up into Justin Bieber‘s house yesterday with so much manpower that you’d have thought he was a Colombian gun-runner instead of a wannabe banger who winged a few dozen eggs at a neighbor’s house and was stupid enough to be caught on video doing it.

During the raid, cops found what they thought was a pile of cocaine “in plain sight” and arrested Lil Za, one of the Biebs’ hangers-on besties. Still unclear is why they arrested HIM when it wasn’t his house, but since Justin is the bitch who makes all the money, Za probably just took one for the team. (The drugs were later reported to be Ecstasy and Xanax, not coke — which translates to a lot less jail time, should it come to that.)

Za was booked for felony drug possession but posted bail a short time later and was mere minutes from freedom when he inexplicably lost his shit and tore up a phone in the jailhouse. That got his dumb ass booked again, this time for vandalism. Because he’s not rich or famous enough to vandalize things and call it art.

Upon his eventual release, he did a walk of shame during which the paparazzi asked him a bunch of idiotic questions they knew he wouldn’t answer, but the main takeaway from that is his inane nickname is apparently pronounced “zay” and not “zah.” (Which totally ruins all the “pizZA” jokes everyone made about him on Twitter yesterday.)

As for the Biebs, the LAPD collected all kinds of evidence from his house yesterday — including his security system, which presumably has video — but at this time, a police spokesman says he “has not been exonerated, nor has he been arrested.”

Justin Bieber Kicked Lils Twist and Za to the Curb

Instagram

Instagram

In case you didn’t know, Justin Bieber has been letting his two famewhore hooligan pals Lil Za and Lil Twist shack up in his home while they terrorize Calabasas, CA and attempt to leverage their friendship with Justin to get an MTV reality show.

But alas, Justin kicked them out of his castle when, after returning home from a leg of his tour, he discovered several pieces of his jewelry were missing.

TMZ, citing mysterious sources, says while the bling went MIA during one or more raucous parties that took place in Justin’s absence, he blamed Twist and Za for the thefts happening on their watch — and ordered them both out. Still though, he doesn’t know who has the stolen merch (any chance Lindsay Lohan was at these soirees?).

Tattletales also told TMZ that Justin is privately acknowledging he needs to change and maybe give up his troublemaking ways of late, which have included blowing off shows and treating airplanes like Coloradan smoke lounges.

While it’s sad to think that Justin felt the need to account for every piece of jewelry and tapestry in his home after a journey, we’re glad that’s all over now. He apparently isn’t ready to go public with the story yet, but the image of Twist and Za walking down the road in the rain to the sad “Charlie Brown Christmas” theme is pretty fantastic.

Meanwhile, Za must be under the impression that Morley Safer or Anderson Cooper want to get in on this hot story, because earlier today he tweeted:

Muhfukkas wanna keep up with this bullshit I got some stories for you, who wanna have a sit down? CNN? 60minutes?

But just as quickly as he said it, he deleted it. Maybe he’s not quite ready to burn that bridge just yet. Even if he has to sleep under it for a few days first.

Justin Bieber’s Famewhore Buddies Want a Reality Show Because Of Course They Do

Twitter

Twitter

For a while now, Justin Bieber has had two male accomplices living inside his house (kinda like Liberace). Their names are Lil Twist and Lil Za, and their days consist of driving around Justin’s hood like assholes, terrorizing kindly old people. But now they’re aspiring to bigger, more whore-tastic goals: reality television.

TMZ caught up with the Za one (which I foolishly assumed was short for “pizza,” but the TMZ pap calls him “zAY” so I don’t even know anymore) while he was eating fast food inside his car like a businessman seeking a moment of respite from a loveless marriage. And that’s when he announced the big news.

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