Back in July, “Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco did about two weeks of public photo-ops with “Man of Steel” star Henry Cavill before they realized no one was buying that shit and called it off.
Then in September, she announced she was engaged to tennis player (no, not “tennis star,” despite what the rags want you to believe) Ryan Sweeting, her boyfriend of three months. This caused everyone with fingers to count how many months it had been since her supposed “split” with Cavill, and to come up with a number less than three. Oh.
Relationship overlaps aside, the issue then became the fact that I’ve owned my current tube of mascara longer than she’s known this guy, and despite all her public proclamations of “when you know, you know,” oh dear God no.
But it was all good because in October, Kaley was all GEEZ, EVERYONE CALM DOWN, DAMN, explaining in an interview, “We are too busy to wedding plan. In a year we will start talking about it. We are enjoying being engaged.”
Time to get out your countin’ fingers again. How many months are in a year? That’s right — twelve. How many months between October and December? Uhhhh not twelve. PENNY CAN BEND THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, YOU GUYS.
Wearing a bubblegum pink Vera Wang gown (because why waste the pretty white gown on your first wedding), Kaley swapped vows with Ryan on New Year’s Eve at an elegant Southern California ranch that someone spent a lot of time trashing up to look like a Vegas wedding chapel. (Or “decorating.” Whatever.) Guests included Kaley’s “BBT” boyfriend and all-around nice guy Johnny Galecki.
Afterward, the newlyweds posted a bunch of photos on Instagram looking like two drunk teenagers at prom. Some of those shots are after the jump.
In the meantime, let’s just hope television’s second highest paid woman made her beloved sign a prenup. Right now everyone’s happy and everyone’s in love, but in the esteemed words of Her Royal Highness Cyndi Lauper, “Money changes everything.”