Ellen Degeneres Makes A Pretty Good Nicki Minaj

After Ellen DeGeneres offered Nicki Minaj the use of her bras and was shot down, it only seems natural that she would dress as Nicki for Halloween in one of the best costumes we’ve seen this year.

Ellen took the stage and addressed the audience, showing everyone her prominent “boom booms” and her “super bass” before launching into a little mini-twerk. And unlike Julianne Hough, she didn’t opt to go the blackface route.

Good thinking, Ellen.

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Pam Anderson Is Still Banging Rick Salomon

Pamela Anderson seems like a nice lady who just makes terrible life decisions – particularly when it comes to romance. And her career. But she’s nice enough.

So when she was on “Ellen” yesterday she admitted to the world that she’s still shacking up with ex-husband Rick Salomon (of slimy, “selling-Paris-Hilton’s-sex-tape-without-telling-Paris” fame).

“I’d say we’re best friends… with benefits,” Pam told Ellen DeGeneres, changing her figurative Facebook relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”

Pam and Rick married in 2007 and promptly annulled it a few months later because it was a terrible idea. Now they’ve drifted back to teach other because both of their names are sort of marred and icky, and Pam’s happy that way, telling Ellen:

“I don’t think I want to meet anybody else… We’re happy.”

Awww.

Start the office betting pool for how long it will last this time. We’ll take Rick running into Lindsay Lohan in a seedy Los Angeles nightclub for $500, Alex.

Nicki Minaj’s Breasts Will Not Abide Your Evil Constraints

Nicki Minaj took time out of her busy schedule of being a living troll doll to stop by “Ellen” for an interview (set to air on Friday), during which Ellen DeGeneres noticed Minaj was wearing a jacket with no shirt — prompting a discussion of undergarment etiquette.

“If you need to borrow a bra from me, you just let me know,” Ellen chuckled.

Nicki, quickly realizing DeGeneres was in on the international Illuminati Bra Conspiracy, responded by dropping a truth bomb:

“I don’t like bras. I don’t. I hate bras. Don’t you? Bras are like, the devil.”

Just like Charlie Daniels says in that classic tune, “The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking to trap some sweater cannons in a cotton prison.”

You tell ‘em, Nicki! Fight the good fight! DOWN WITH ANTI-MAMMARISTS!

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Talking About Her Pubes

A while back, Gwyneth Paltrow made waves by telling Ellen DeGeneres that she had to do some heavy winnowing to her lady-garden before wearing a revealing dress to the premiere of “Iron Man 3.” This quickly snowballed into a major international story because having a bush does not conform to the Geneva Grooming Convention.

But now everyone is wondering if she’s still rocking the Bambi Woods cut down there, so Ellen asked her the hard-hitting questions — like did Gwynnie take any shit for what she said last time she was on the show?

“You know normally I don’t read stuff at all but apparently this was in like a lot of newspapers. And then, my brother-in-law – I knew it had permeated when my brother-in-law said to me, like, ‘I hope you’re not going to bring back big bush.’ Thanks, Al. Thanks for your support.”

(It’s worth noting that the word “bush” was bleeped, apparently because kids are still impressionable after dealing with eight years of the B*** administration in the White House.)

Anyway, after watching Gwyn squirm a bit, Ellen deviously said, “Well, let’s know that you’re not doing that.”

Paltrow was equally mischievous in her answer, replying, “Let’s not say I am and let’s not say I’m not. Are we going to talk about my pubic hair every time I come on this show?”

She then assured everyone that, yes, the landscape is no longer overgrown.

Rest easy, America. All is well.

Ellen DeGerenes Is Super Happy About Bethenny Frankel’s New Talk Show. Maybe.

Ellen DeGeneres, Bethenny Frankel

CBS / Eharmony

Skeletor Bethenny Frankel refuses to go away (remember, that’s how she’s making all that money). After getting the boot from Bravo, the erstwhile “Real Housewife” has had all sorts of ventures, but they’ve all lead up to this: the launch of her own eponymous talk show this afternoon.

Feeling she should say something, reigning queen of talk Ellen DeGeneres tweeted out a deliciously backhanded endorsement:

Is it meant to be taunting, or a genuinely kind gesture? With Ellen, it’s hard to tell (and she knows it, which is why the missive was so brilliant). But we’re betting it’s all in good fun, because these two seem pretty tight.

Plus, Bethenny ended up retweeting it. Which means either Ellen’s well-wishes were truly from the heart … or Bethenny doesn’t know when she’s being made fun of. And that’s not possible. Right? 

Regardless, we at least know Jill Zarin’s feelings on daytime’s newest host.

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