Amanda Bynes has been awfully quiet lately. Too quiet. So quiet, in fact, we nearly missed the fact that she was released from rehab in early December (“It’s a Christmas Twerkicle!”). Nevertheless, she’s out, and was recently spotted walking around L.A. looking moderately able.
Manders was snapped with parents Rick and Lynn Bynes taking her dog for a walk through their Thousand Oaks neighborhood, and looking pretty fierce. Her microdermal piercings are gone, and her hair appears to have come back in nicely. Family lawyer Tamar Arminak weighed in, saying:
“She is doing very well and reestablishing a close and loving relationship with her family,”
So it appears this story has a happy ending after all (for everyone except that bong, at least). And like 2013, the batshit crazy Amanda of yesteryear is gone forever. We hardly knew ye.
A few months ago, when Amanda Bynes was unleashed in New York city tossing bongs and terrorizing yoga classes, she commissioned celebrity jewelry guru Ben Baller to create her some grills to keep up with the kids’ hot fashion trends. He posted the molds for said grills on Instagram.
Above is the finished product, and since Manders is slightly detained trying to evade Nurse Ratched, he might be auctioning them off for charity.
Ever wondered what Amanda Bynes grills came out to look like? Here you go… Natural pink diamonds set on 14k rose gold (before one of you smart ass asks why it isn’t 18k gold, it’s because 18k is way too soft to be in the mouth piece). Tried for months to deliver this to her but doubt it will happen. Should I auction these off to charity? Thoughts?
Most mental health facilities probably frown upon delivering things to patients that can chomp down on the necks of orderlies with deadly, sparkly precision.
But, hey, how great would it be to pass these down to your grandchildren and tell them you spent $10,000 for something modeled after Sydney White’s mouth?
It can be a cherished family heirloom. Like Paul Reubens‘ snuggie ($15,000) or Mickey Rourke‘s sterling silver dental floss (priceless).
Meltdowns are all the rage in Hollywood right now, and there was no way in hell Roseanne Barr was going to miss that train. So when “Two and a Half Men” aired a joke similar to hers, she leapt at the opportunity, chewing out both Ashton Kutcher and showrunner Chuck Lorre via Twitter.
One Flew Over the Drake’s Nest
Earlier this week, Amanda Bynes‘ lawyer announced that she was mentally incompetent to stand trial for her DUI in Hollywood last year and bounced her to mental health court to make a judgment on her precise level of battiness.
Her mom also withdrew her bid for permanent conservatorship because “Amanda is currently on an LPS hold,” meaning “doctors have a tighter rein on Amanda than her mother would have with a conservatorship,” so it simply isn’t needed.
Now, Gerald Shargel, her attorney in a different trial (the New York bong-tossing one) said she could be MIA for up to 18 months as she gets some much needed psychological treatment in California.
Shargel told Judge Diana Boyar that Manders would be in treatment for “a year to 18 months.” That’s a pretty serious stint.
“She’s in a hospital in California. It’s uncertain when she will be released. Obviously she is being treated there,” Shargel said, adding, “We are in touch with the district attorney’s office and we hope to resolve this by Dec 5th.”
Since Amanda wasn’t present, the judge could’ve issued a bench warrant for her arrest, but wisely declined to do so. Maybe because storming a mental health clinic to drag her — kicking and twerking — out into a media circus would be a bad idea. (Plus it would be rude to do that without also giving her access to her wig closet.)
Amanda Bynes was due in court today to deal with the fallout from her DUI arrest last year — except she wasn’t there, because her attorney told the judge Bynes wouldn’t have any clue what was going on (and would, you know, probably try to pee on something).
TMZ reports that Amanda’s lawyer, Richard Hutton, said Manders just doesn’t have the mental capacity to withstand the trial. The judge agreed — meaning he’s looking out for her vagina – and punted the issue to Mental Health Court, where another judge will try and suss out just how competent she really is.
Amanda’s reign of vehicular (and Twitter) terror recently came to an end when she was deemed “gravely disabled,” placed under her parents’ conservatorship, and given a cocktail of drugs that apparently haven’t been very successful.
Meanwhile, everyone pretends Miley Cyrus is sane. WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN.
Remember that time TMZ reported that all the drugs mashed up into Amanda Bynes‘ daily bowl of peanut butter and marijuana were working and she was getting better? None of that was true at all.
In fact, doctors deemed it necessary to extend Mander’s psych hold for another 30 days, saying she is “gravely disabled.” Meanwhile, her parents have been granted temporary conservatorship so they can make sure she doesn’t spend any more money on electric socks or bong footballs. TMZ reports:
The conservatorship not only covers Amanda’s personal well-being, it gives her mom the ability to manage her finances. Amanda’s $4 million savings have been rapidly depleted, though it’s unclear what she’s been spending money on. The judge cautioned the parents not to make any significant deals without consulting with Amanda’s lawyer.
This judge is worried about her parents making a deal with … who? Maybe there’s a pet accelerant company just waiting for an endorsement. Meanwhile, Amanda’s lawyer is busy googling how much plane tickets to Uruguay cost this time of year.
So the moral of the story is that if you’re rich, you can go all over the country running people over and assaulting random strangers like a methed-out Tasmanian devil and your reign of terror will only be stopped once you endanger an animal.