Lindsay Lohan Is Suing the ‘GTA V’ People Now

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In her endless bid to stay relevant and also make money without working, Lindsay Lohan has set her sights on the makers of the insanely popular “Grand Theft Auto V,” claiming they’ve used her likeness.

TMZ reports that Linds is in talks with her legal team to sue Rockstar Games, who she thinks is using a facsimile of her in “GTA V.” But what’s her evidence?

– The video game cover shows a woman holding a cellphone who looks Lindsay-ish.  There’s been debate over whether it looks more like Kate Upton or Shelby Welinder.

– Part of the game features a mission where a Lindsay Lohan look-alike asks the player to take her home and escape the paparazzi.

– Another part of the game shows another Lindsay-like character at a hotel resembling the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood — a place Lindsay not only frequents but once lived at — and the mission is to photograph her having sex on camera.

While we can say for certain that the cartoon woman on the front of the game is definitely not Lindsay-like, the other instances are a little more on point. But they’re also clearly parody, which the Supreme Court has roundly upheld. As an astute scholar, Lindsay should know this.

From the Hustler v. Falwell ruling:

… the First Amendment gives speakers immunity from sanction with respect to their speech concerning public figures unless their speech is both false and made with “actual malice”, i.e., with knowledge of its falsehood or with reckless disregard for the truth of the statement. Although false statements lack inherent value, the “breathing space” that freedom of expression requires in order to flourish must tolerate occasional false statements, lest there be an intolerable chilling effect on speech that does have constitutional value.

Saying Lindsay Lohan has sex in hotel rooms probably doesn’t constitute a false statement. It’s like saying 1% of the population is gluten intolerant or the Earth is round or Senator Ted Cruz is actually a succubi. Whatever.

Hey, Lindsay. We don’t say it very often, but we kinda like you. So maybe concentrate on, you know, acting in motion pictures again. Priorities.