Kanye West has cancelled his Yeezus tour concert in Vancouver tonight after a truck in his holy caravan got into an accident, damaging a video truss and the 60 foot, oval LED screen you see above.
TMZ reports that Ye’s also cancelling shows in Anaheim, Denver and Minneapolis because of the incident, claiming the pieces are “central to the creative vision” and that the show can’t go on without them. Because some musicians aren’t any good if you’re not distracted by flashing lights and shit.
But this begs a very important question: why didn’t Kanye, with his omnipotence and omniscience, prevent this catastrophe? Why didn’t he use his divine Yeezus powers to send the other car to Albania seconds before it hit his truck?
Guess what, Vancouver? If Kanye wanted to perform for you he would have prevented this. Just like how he failed to prevent that Indonesian Tusunami in 2004.
So next time you cry to the heavens about why Miley Cyrus hasn’t been stricken with muteness or your cat vomited on your shoes, just realize that Kanye is sitting up there, arms crossed, sipping from his golden chalice and whispering “Not Yeezus’ problem, bitches.”