Jay-Z Is Totally on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Shit List

Vanity Fair

Vanity Fair

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of Gwyneth Paltrow‘s Pen o’ Doom as she furiously scratches Jay-Z off her list of BFFs because he willfully defied her by speaking to Vanity Fair. And didn’t just speak to them — did a huge interview and a cover shoot.

Of course, he never mentioned Gwynnie herself, so there’s no real betrayal here. Besides, name-dropping him makes her seem cool. So maybe she’s reconsidered and is already back to drawing hearts around his pictures.

Anyway. Did we mention Jay-Z talked to Vanity Fair? There’s the usual stuff — glowing words about wife Beyonce and daughter Blue Ivy, and then Jay talks about how his “checkered past” will serve him well in his new role as a sports agent:

“I know about budgets. I was a drug dealer … To be in a drug deal, you need to know what you can spend, what you need to re-up. Or if you want to start some sort of barbershop or car wash — those were the businesses back then. Things you can get in easily to get out of [that] life.

“At some point, you have to have an exit strategy, because your window is very small; you’re going to get locked up or you’re going to die.”

Chris Brown was recently all bitter like vinegar because he gets so much shit for being a thug while Jay doesn’t: “No disrespect, because I’m a fan, but nobody brings up the fact that he stabbed somebody and sold drugs.”

Except, apparently, Jay himself. So have a seat, Breezy. Have several seats.