Justin Bieber + Jay-Z Are Hanging Out Together Now. This Won’t End Well.

Instagram

Instagram

I’m not gonna lie: I’m a little worried about Jay-Z. A few weeks ago, he showered (what I really hope was ironic) praise on Miley Cyrus. Now he’s been willingly photographed with Justin Bieber.

The overgrown Canadian toddler posted the shot on his Instagram page, and in the photo, Jay has one arm slung around (the very funny) Kevin Hart, and it looks like his other arm is around the Biebs.

NO, HOVA, NO.

Look, I think Miley is about as transparent a poseur as I’ve ever seen, but I (somewhat) understand why guys like Pharrell are working with her. It’s a quid pro quo thing — she gets the hip-hop cred she’s clearly so thirsty for, and they get exposure to her millions of mainstream pop fans. And if she’s gonna pretend she’s into “urban,” at least she’s surrounding herself with credible names.

But Bieber? These days he’s little more than a bratty wanna-be thug who’s more famous for needing a proper ass beating than anything else. Being seen with him increases no one’s stock. I mean, it wasn’t that long ago that I was pretty ambivalent about Will Smith, and then I found out Justin regards him as kind of a second father. Say Will’s name now and my Pavlovian response is to smell vinegar and water.

What I’m saying is I adore Jay-Z and if Bieber ruins that for me, I may hunt him down and beat his ass myself.