A while back, Gwyneth Paltrow made waves by telling Ellen DeGeneres that she had to do some heavy winnowing to her lady-garden before wearing a revealing dress to the premiere of “Iron Man 3.” This quickly snowballed into a major international story because having a bush does not conform to the Geneva Grooming Convention.
But now everyone is wondering if she’s still rocking the Bambi Woods cut down there, so Ellen asked her the hard-hitting questions — like did Gwynnie take any shit for what she said last time she was on the show?
“You know normally I don’t read stuff at all but apparently this was in like a lot of newspapers. And then, my brother-in-law – I knew it had permeated when my brother-in-law said to me, like, ‘I hope you’re not going to bring back big bush.’ Thanks, Al. Thanks for your support.”
(It’s worth noting that the word “bush” was bleeped, apparently because kids are still impressionable after dealing with eight years of the B*** administration in the White House.)
Anyway, after watching Gwyn squirm a bit, Ellen deviously said, “Well, let’s know that you’re not doing that.”
Paltrow was equally mischievous in her answer, replying, “Let’s not say I am and let’s not say I’m not. Are we going to talk about my pubic hair every time I come on this show?”
She then assured everyone that, yes, the landscape is no longer overgrown.
Rest easy, America. All is well.