Chris Brown Wants You to Hate Jay-Z, Too

Twitter

Twitter

Professional victim Chris Brown recently told Jet (via CNN) it’s totes unfair to judge him for beating the pretty off Rihanna‘s face if you don’t also hold Jay-Z accountable for his own criminal history:

“This is something I’ve been dealing with for the past maybe five years. Anybody with a voice – Tupac, Michael Jackson, the Notorious B.I.G. – gets formatted…except maybe for Jay Z, who is accepted by White America because he shakes hands and kisses babies. No disrespect, because I’m a fan, but nobody brings up the fact that he stabbed somebody and sold drugs. He gets a pass.”

Dude. You don’t get to call a hip-hop legend a sellout and excuse it away by adding “no disrespect, because I’m a fan.” That’s like the shit Southern women pull when they say “bless her heart,” as though that neutralizes the insult. She’s a diseased whore. Bless her heart.

Maybe people have forgotten about Jay’s 1999 transgression because he didn’t spend the years afterward throwing chairs through windows or going on self-righteous Twitter rants or otherwise proving what a douchebag and ragemonster he is. You know. Maybe.

Or maybe we’re all just racist dicks.

“I identify with Trayvon [Martin] 100 percent as far as living in 2013 and still dealing with blatant racism. This generation is so used to racism that it’s normal; we don’t care. We aren’t on drugs or catching AIDS, but they still look at us as ni**as.”

I like to imagine Chris actually said “ninjas” there. But if not, no big — because when we weren’t looking, he went all Patti LaBelle on us and got himself a new attitude.

“I got to the point where it’s only so much you can take from the master, you feel me? I’ve taken my fair share of lashings. I’ve dealt with the media. Instead of being an artist, I’ve been called a woman beater; I’ve been insulted in public and judged. And being able to not want to kill yourself at the end of the day is what made me say, ‘Fuck it.’”

Cool story, bro.