‘X-Men’ Director Bryan Singer Accused of Raping Little Boys

Twitter

Twitter

Here, lemme just start with the tl;dr version of this story: A 31-year-old guy named Michael Egan says that when he was about 15, “X-Men” director Bryan Singer began sexually abusing him under the guise of helping him establish an acting career. Now Egan has filed a civil suit and wants a whole bunch of money for it.

Here’s the more detailed version: When Egan was 15, he and his family moved to L.A. from Nevada so he could become an actor and a model. Not long afterward, Egan wound up at a pool party at an estate in Encino, which was apparently some sort of hotbed (so to speak) where men lured twinks, plied them with drugs and alcohol, and then had sex with them — all while promising to make them stars.

If you want the really detailed version, toddle over to The Wrap, which has excerpts from the legal documents and such. And TMZ (because of course TMZ) has video of a presser Egan did earlier today.

Are the accusations true? Who knows.

Of course Singer’s rep has denied everything ever, calling the allegations “defamatory” and “completely without merit,” but we do know that in 1997, Singer was unsuccessfully sued by a 14-year-old extra from his movie “Apt Pupil” who said that during a shower scene, Singer made him (and other little boys) get nekkid. The rumor was that he saved that footage for his own personal use.

But back to Egan’s claims. Look, I don’t know any more about this than anyone else, and Michael K over at dlisted heard about Singer’s twink parties a long time ago, so something hinky probably WAS going on.

That said, Jeff Herman, the lawyer who’s representing Egan, is the same one who represented five guys with dubious claims against “Sesame Street” Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash a couple years ago. Four of those cases were dismissed, and the remaining plaintiff never could get his story straight — and was just sentenced to jail for being a thief.

“Hollywood has a problem with the sexual exploitation of children,” Herman said. “This is the first of many cases I will be filing to give these victims a voice and to expose the issue.”

He’s almost certainly right about Hollywood’s exploitation of children. I’d just feel a lot better about his sense of justice if it didn’t have so many dollar signs attached.

Justin Bieber Got His Dumb Ass Arrested

By now you’ve heard the story already — Justin Bieber was in Miami going way too fast in his yellow Lambo while drunk, and karmic justice was finally all OH MY GOD THIS DOUCHE I CAN’T ANYMORE and so now he’s been arrested.

You want details? Worship at the altar of TMZ.

As for us, we’re just stirring up shit by doctoring his mugshot (see above) and poking sticks in the cage of beliebers on Twitter. As we do.

Yesterday Was a Bad Day to Be Justin Bieber’s BFF

You know you're jelly of those onesies

You know you’re jelly of those onesies

By now, pretty much everyone knows the LAPD busted up into Justin Bieber‘s house yesterday with so much manpower that you’d have thought he was a Colombian gun-runner instead of a wannabe banger who winged a few dozen eggs at a neighbor’s house and was stupid enough to be caught on video doing it.

During the raid, cops found what they thought was a pile of cocaine “in plain sight” and arrested Lil Za, one of the Biebs’ hangers-on besties. Still unclear is why they arrested HIM when it wasn’t his house, but since Justin is the bitch who makes all the money, Za probably just took one for the team. (The drugs were later reported to be Ecstasy and Xanax, not coke — which translates to a lot less jail time, should it come to that.)

Za was booked for felony drug possession but posted bail a short time later and was mere minutes from freedom when he inexplicably lost his shit and tore up a phone in the jailhouse. That got his dumb ass booked again, this time for vandalism. Because he’s not rich or famous enough to vandalize things and call it art.

Upon his eventual release, he did a walk of shame during which the paparazzi asked him a bunch of idiotic questions they knew he wouldn’t answer, but the main takeaway from that is his inane nickname is apparently pronounced “zay” and not “zah.” (Which totally ruins all the “pizZA” jokes everyone made about him on Twitter yesterday.)

As for the Biebs, the LAPD collected all kinds of evidence from his house yesterday — including his security system, which presumably has video — but at this time, a police spokesman says he “has not been exonerated, nor has he been arrested.”

Cops Just Swarmed Justin Bieber’s Crib

Would this face lie to you? (Yes. Yes it would.)

Would this face lie to you? (Yes. Yes it would.)

Remember that egg-throwing incident last weekend? Looks like it might have been a lot more serious than anyone thought, because almost a dozen L.A. County Sheriff’s patrol cars are out in front of Justin Bieber‘s manse right now.

TMZ giddily reports:

[Police] are executing a search warrant in connection with the egg-throwing incident … Sources tell us deputies are looking for any evidence that links Bieber to the egg assault on his next door neighbor. We’re told this is a FELONY search warrant — meaning Justin is under a microscope for a crime that could land him in prison.

If in the course of the search cops find something illegal — like drugs — it’s fair game.

We’re told there’s a battering ram at the scene …

Deputies are detaining Justin in his garage right now while they search. We’re told they are also looking for surveillance video from Justin’s house that might capture the egging incident.

A battering ram? Jesus H. This is like some shit off “Cops.” All we’re missing is some barefoot chick in a SpaghettiOs-stained tank top puffing on a Marlboro Red and swigging a can of Coors.

For what it’s worth, the guy who owns the house Justin egged says the world’s most famous man-boy caused $20,000 in damage. That definitely rises to the level of a felony, and let’s be real here — it’s about time Bieber got a little comeuppance for his constant and rampant douchebaggery.

That said, he IS rich, famous and (most importantly) white — so I wouldn’t start measuring him for a jailhouse jumpsuit just yet.

—–

UPDATE: Justin’s BFF Lil Za, who was at the house, was busted for felony Ecstasy and Xanax possession. Cops said the drugs (which they initially thought was a whole lot of cocaine) were “in plain view” during the raid.

Justin Bieber Egged a Neighbor’s House Like Grownups Do

Since Justin Bieber is a grown-up now and wants you to STOP TREATING HIM LIKE A LITTLE BOY, he recently settled a longtime beef with a neighbor by inviting the guy over for coffee and snickerdoodles and talking things out.

LOLJK he actually threw a bunch of eggs at the guy’s house like the shitty little juvenile delinquent he is. (Oh, sorry — he’s almost 20 now. So he’s just a “shitty little delinquent.”)

According to TMZ, the neighbor — who’s been feuding with Bieber for undetermined rich white people reasons — heard “something banging” against his manse on Thursday night, so he went out on a second-floor balcony to see wutwut:

Bieber started aiming for him once he stepped onto the balcony and yelled, “What the Hell are you doing?”

Video of the incident [shot by the neighbor] is dark, but you can hear the neighbor yelling, “I see you. I f**king see you!” Then Justin yells back, “F**k you! I got another one for you, actually!”

They keep yelling back and forth for about 30 seconds, until the neighbor tells his 13-year-old daughter — who sounds terrified — to call the cops.

Here’s where it gets rather amusing. Despite the fact that she probably felt like Judas betraying Jesus, the little girl does make the call, awesomely telling the 911 dispatcher:

“Hi, I’d like to, uh, place an assault.”

Like she was ordering a pizza. (Then she went to the real-time tracker to watch her assault being made!)

Justin is now supposedly being investigated for vandalism, which is usually a misdemeanor — but if the damage exceeds $400, that makes it a felony. Like that matters. (Hi, Chris Brown. ‘Sup?)

Lindsay Lohan Is Suing the ‘GTA V’ People Now

Instagram

Instagram

In her endless bid to stay relevant and also make money without working, Lindsay Lohan has set her sights on the makers of the insanely popular “Grand Theft Auto V,” claiming they’ve used her likeness.

TMZ reports that Linds is in talks with her legal team to sue Rockstar Games, who she thinks is using a facsimile of her in “GTA V.” But what’s her evidence?

– The video game cover shows a woman holding a cellphone who looks Lindsay-ish.  There’s been debate over whether it looks more like Kate Upton or Shelby Welinder.

– Part of the game features a mission where a Lindsay Lohan look-alike asks the player to take her home and escape the paparazzi.

– Another part of the game shows another Lindsay-like character at a hotel resembling the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood — a place Lindsay not only frequents but once lived at — and the mission is to photograph her having sex on camera.

While we can say for certain that the cartoon woman on the front of the game is definitely not Lindsay-like, the other instances are a little more on point. But they’re also clearly parody, which the Supreme Court has roundly upheld. As an astute scholar, Lindsay should know this.

From the Hustler v. Falwell ruling:

… the First Amendment gives speakers immunity from sanction with respect to their speech concerning public figures unless their speech is both false and made with “actual malice”, i.e., with knowledge of its falsehood or with reckless disregard for the truth of the statement. Although false statements lack inherent value, the “breathing space” that freedom of expression requires in order to flourish must tolerate occasional false statements, lest there be an intolerable chilling effect on speech that does have constitutional value.

Saying Lindsay Lohan has sex in hotel rooms probably doesn’t constitute a false statement. It’s like saying 1% of the population is gluten intolerant or the Earth is round or Senator Ted Cruz is actually a succubi. Whatever.

Hey, Lindsay. We don’t say it very often, but we kinda like you. So maybe concentrate on, you know, acting in motion pictures again. Priorities.

Ashton Kutcher’s Now a Single Man. Ladies?

The couple who wears hipster glasses together, stays in divorce court together

The couple who wears hipster glasses together, never has a chance together

Two years after Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore separated (following an incident during which his peen tripped and fell into a vag that wasn’t hers), the former marrieds are officially divorced. And her bank balance likely has an extra zero or two.

We’ll give Demi this: She’s married very, very well. Or rather, she’s divorced very well — because despite few acting gigs in the past couple decades, she’s STUPID wealthy. As in, worth $150 million, thanks in no small part to the $90 million she got as a parting gift when she split from Bruce Willis in 2000.

That meant she was the rich one when she got her cougar on and hooked up with Ashton five years later — but that was before CBS lost its goddamned mind and made him Hollywood’s highest paid TV star. Between that and his tech investments (he got in on Spotify, Skype and Airbnb early), he’s now worth $140 million.

The exact terms of the divorce haven’t been disclosed, but it’s clear Demi felt the public humiliation she suffered when Ashton boffed a trashy rando (who couldn’t wait to tell the tabloids all about it) had a price tag, and she held out this long to make him pay.

“Ashton has been very difficult during the talks,” a source told Page Six back in March. “You could even say he has been hostile.”

Maybe he finally settled so he could put a ring on Mila Kunis — before she realizes she’s dating WAY below her weight class and bails.

Chris Brown Was Kicked Out of Rage Rehab for Going Ballistic on His Mom

Chris Brown and the woman who made him what he is today

Chris Brown and the woman who made him what he is today

Once upon a time, a boy named Chris Brown got famous because he could sing and dance. Then he got infamous for trying to put Rihanna‘s nose where her ears go, and it’s all been downhill ever since.

Simply put, brotha needs to check his temper. Since he’s still on probation for the 2009 Rihanna “incident” (as he calls it), he can’t afford to go all rage monster on anyone — yet that’s what he keeps doing. And he’s rapidly running through his “get out of jail free” cards.

So about a month ago, his legal team talked him into checking himself into treatment for anger management. Which seemed like a great idea, but it’s now coming to light that a mere two weeks into his stay, the Malibu rehab facility where he was staying punted him for — wait for it — completely losing his shit. On his mom, no less.

TMZ (because of course TMZ) reports:

According to [a probation] report, Chris’ mom showed up for a family session and was urging her son to stay in the facility for extended treatment. Apparently, Chris violently disagreed with her and in a fit of anger threw a rock through her car window, shattering it …

The report goes on to say without continued therapy and a strong recovery support network, his prognosis is “very guarded.”

His mother, by the way, is at least half the problem. But I digress.

And wait, there’s more:

Chris Brown just got confined for 90 days … but not in jail … in rehab.

Brown and his lawyer, Mark Geragos, were just in court for a progress report in the Rihanna beating case … The Probation Dept. notified the judge that Brown flew into yet another violent rage while he was in a Malibu rehab joint for anger management, and was thrown out of the facility after only 2 weeks. The Probation Dept. recommended live-in anger management rehab.

The judge agreed with Probation, and ordered Brown to check into a facility for 90 days, and the facility must be in L.A. County and approved by Probation … Brown must also submit to drug testing at the rehab facility [and] must take any prescriptions recommended by the rehab place.

In other words, Breezy will now be on court-ordered lock-down for three months, and he can’t be under the influence of anything other than prescribed chiller-outers. Which will likely be dosed from a safe distance. With a tranq gun, maybe.
 

Brittany Murphy Might Have Been Poisoned

x

Wait. What?

Actress and singer (really, chick could wail) Brittany Murphy was just 32 when she died of pneumonia and anemia in 2009. She was an itty bitty wisp of a girl, so of course her untimely death (and health problems in the months before) made people whisper “anorexia” and “drugs” because come on — pneumonia and anemia? She wasn’t a character in “Little Women,” for chrissakes.

Then, just five months later, her husband Simon Monjack also tragically passed away. He was only 40. And the coroner said pneumonia and anemia killed him too. So this whole thing has always been more than a little weird.

Brittany’s father, Angelo Bertolotti, didn’t think things added up, so he went to court to obtain samples of his daughter’s hair, blood and tissue for independent testing. Now that it’s been done, the results are … well, damned frightening is what they are.

“Ten (10) of the heavy metals evaluated were detected at levels higher than the WHO [The World Health Organization] high levels … If we were to eliminate the possibility of a simultaneous accidental heavy metals exposure to the sample donor then the only logical explanation would be an exposure to these metals (toxins) administered by a third party perpetrator with likely criminal intent.”

Heavy metals, by the way, are often found in things like, oh, you know, rat poison. And according to the lab report, the “levels of heavy metals detected in Brittany Murphy’s hair were from 2 to over 9 times higher than the levels set as ‘high’ by The World Health Organization.”

Symptoms of acute heavy metal poisoning in humans can include headache, dizziness, gastrointestinal, neurological, respiratory, or dermal symptoms such as abdominal cramps, tremors, tachycardia, sweating, disorientation, coughing, wheezing, congestion, and pneumonia. Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack exhibited all of these symptoms prior to their untimely deaths.

In other words, it’s entirely possible someone intentionally poisoned them. And as cloak-and-dagger as that sounds, it makes a lot more sense than two young people dying of pneumonia and anemia mere months apart.

“Vicious rumors, spread by tabloids, unfairly smeared Brittany’s reputation. My daughter was neither anorexic nor a drug junkie, as they repeatedly implied,” Mr. Bertolotti said. “I will not rest until the truth about these tragic events is told. There will be justice for Brittany.”

What in the actual hell is going on here? No, seriously.

That Crazy Chick Who’s Been Stalking Alec Baldwin Is Going to Jail

Oh God. Not the dog. NOT THE DOG.

Oh God. Not the dog. NOT THE DOG.

After a three day trial in New York during which she swore Alec Baldwin promised her “omelets every morning” forever and ever amen, 41-year-old Canadian actress Genevieve Sabourin was sentenced by a judge to 210 days in jail — 180 for stalking and harassment with another 30 tossed in for contempt of court (since she couldn’t keep her mouth shut during the trial).

Her story is that Alec hit on her on the 2002 set of “The Adventures of Pluto Nash,” but that since he was married to Kim Basinger at the time she rebuffed his advances because she’s nobody’s sidepiece, yo.

But she says they finally did have carnal knowledge of each other after a “dream date” on Valentine’s Day of 2010. Per CNN:

Baldwin took her to a Broadway play and dinner in Manhattan, she testified. The date ended the next morning, after they had sex in her hotel room and he made romantic promises, Sabourin testified.

“I make the best omelets in the world and I’d be happy to make you omelets every morning for the rest of your life,” she quoted the actor as saying.

For his part, Baldwin maintains that while he did have dinner with her as a favor to a friend who was trying to help her career, his business advice wasn’t administered naked — and that any “relationship” they had was all in Sabourin’s mind.

This prompted repeated Tourette’s like outbursts of “you’re lying!” and “I’m innocent!” and “‘The Adventures of Pluto Nash’ sucked donkey dong!” (I may have improvised that last one but don’t pretend I’m wrong.)

What isn’t in dispute is that in the months after their one-nighter, Sabourin sent a lot of creepy emails to Baldwin, violated restraining orders by calling him and showing up in person wherever he was, and scared the living shit out of his now-wife, Hilaria.

“I am less than 10 minutes away from you tonight. Say ‘I do’ to me,” one e-mail says.

In another e-mail, she said she was ready to get married: “I need to start my new life with my new name … in my new country, help my newly husband, you!”

In another e-mail, she admits defeat: “I may have lost all the battles to win your heart over in the past two years, but I’ve learn (sic) so much,” it says.

Her attorney insisted his Stage 5 Clinger client “had a legitimate purpose in determining the status of their relationship.” (And, apparently, whether she’d need to start buying her own eggs again.)

Baldwin wasn’t there to hear the judge’s ruling, but upon leaving court earlier this week, he told reporters to eff off and that he hoped one in particular “choked to death.” This, however, didn’t make much of a media ripple. Because Alec Baldwin.