Talking ‘Drag Race’ with Chiffon Dior: The Finale

The worked a lot better when Ellen tried it.

This worked a lot better when Ellen tried it.

Well boys and girls, much like a bottle of Absolut, all good things must come to end — and so too must “Talking Drag Race.” But this is not a sad day. No, it is a day of celebration, a day to commemorate the crowning of the “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season six winner!

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Now, if you’ve been following “Talking Drag Race” all season (hi mom!), tonight’s result should not come as a surprise. That’s right, the AMAZING Bianca Del Rio took home the crown! (More images and such here.)

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All hail the Queen

It was a magical night in Las Vegas that featured not only the crowning but also an impromptu wedding (between Joslyn Fox and her boyfriend, presided over by RuPaul herself), a tearful reunion of sorts between estranged friends Adore Delano and Laganja Estranja, a heartwarming surprise for Darienne Lake as her parents appeared via video to express their support — and, of course, lots of shade being tossed around (including some aimed at Gia Gunn‘s perpetually wonky eyelash).

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Peter Falk called. He wants his eye back.

But ultimately, season six will be remembered as the season of Bianca. She owned the screen from the first moment she entered the work room — and never looked back. There were some awesome performances this year by Ben Delacreme, Trinity K. Bonet, Darienne, Adore and Courtney Act, all fabulously talented queens in their own right. But one by one they fell by the wayside, victims of Hurricane Bianca. Ultimately, I think the most deserving queen won (unlike some other seasons *cough* tyrasanchez *cough*).

The drive-thru bank teller isn't going to know what to do with that giant check

The drive-thru bank teller isn’t going to know what to do with that giant check

So this brings me to the end of my run here at Blabberazzi and I would just like to take a moment to thank the management team here for giving me the opportunity to write this column. I would also like to thank everyone that’s been reading “Talking Drag Race” week after week, in spite of its incredibly uncreative title and possible seizure-inducing animated GIFs. If you’ve enjoyed my work, please check out my new website, www.NotSafe4Werk.com, where you will see many of the same jokes recycled over and over again.

Until we meet again, remember to have your pets neutered and spayed.

~ Chiffon Dior

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Chiffon Dior spends far too much of her day online, taking breaks only to eat, shower and the occasional trip to Starbucks or the MAC counter. Follow her on Twitter here.

Solange Knowles Tried to Beat the Shit Outta Jay-Z. And There’s Video, You Guys.

Being Solange Knowles must be hard. Her sister is Beyonce, and if there’s ever been a real-life version of the Jan Brady “Marcia Marcia MARCIA” syndrome, there it is.

But dude. Busting on Jay-Z? Like, physically? In heels?

From TMZ (who else):

Jay Z was ferociously assaulted by Beyonce’s sister Solange … who was wildly kicking and swinging at him inside an elevator … and the attack was captured on surveillance video … obtained by TMZ.

According to our sources, it all went down at a Met Gala after party last week at the Standard Hotel in NYC. In the video … Jay Z, Beyonce and Solange step into the elevator … and then Solange goes crazy, screaming at Jay before unleashing a violent attack.

A large man — who appears to be a bodyguard — attempts to hold Solange back, but she manages to connect at least 3 times. At one point Solange throws a kick and Jay grabs her foot, but never attempts to strike her. Beyonce stands by without getting physically involved.

It’s unclear what triggered the fight.

My favorite part of this is how Bey stands off to the side, like it’s totes normal for her kid sister to act like she’s on “Jerry Springer” and just found out Jay-Z isn’t the father. Even in a closed elevator, she’s BEYONCE, BITCHES so she’s too good for this shit.

Talking ‘Drag Race’ with Chiffon Dior — Episode 12: Final Three Chosen

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Hello, hello, helloooooooo my dears! We are almost to the end of this long-ass journey together. Now, now … no tears. We still have a lot more shade and drama to go before we say goodbye, so let’s get right to it.

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Seriously, how many tubes of lipstick did that bitch go through?

We started Monday’s show by finding out that vanquished queen Ben Delacreme left an epically long mirror message (roughly 20 words longer than anything Adore Delano has ever read) just so it would be a pain in the ass for Darienne Lake to clean off. Oh, the shade! [ more >> ]

Talking ‘Drag Race’ with Chiffon Dior — Episode 11: Glitterball

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Hello again my little chickadees! It’s time for another bedazzled edition of “Talking Drag Race with Chiffon Dior,” which must make me Chiffon Dior. We’re in this season’s home stretch and Monday’s episode was a doozy, complete with the most shocking elimination of the year — one that is sure to be hotly debated in the days to come. But I’m getting ahead of myself now aren’t I? [ more >> ]

Betty White Throws Deliciously Elegant Shade at Homophobes and Hollywood Douchebags

Say “The Golden Girls” to any gay man with a sense of history and you’ll likely get a treatise on his five (maybe even 10) favorite episodes. It’s something Our Lady of Perpetual Goodness Betty White knows all too well, telling a radio host back in 2011:

“I think the gay community seems to like old ladies, they always have. And when we were on live with ‘Golden Girls’ on Saturday night they’d shut down the music, stop the dancing, watch the show, then turn the music and the dancing back on. We were very grateful and they’ve been dear friends.”

She’s been a vocal supporter of gay marriage for many years, too, once telling Parade:

“If a couple has been together all that time—and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones—I think it’s fine if they want to get married. I don’t know how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”

And like all good wines, cheeses and vintage Gibson guitars, White only gets better with age. In an interview this week with Larry King (yeah, he’s still doing that), she responded to a viewer who asked what she thinks about people who aren’t down with the cause:

“I don’t care whom you sleep with. It’s ‘what kind of a human being are you?’ I don’t understand [why people are anti-gay], it’s such a personal private business and it’s none of mine.”

She also, in an incredibly ladylike way, gave the side-eye to celebrity douchebags when she was asked if there’s anything about the entertainment industry that makes her sad:

“Some of the ingratitude … some of the people who get to a very good point and they don’t appreciate it. They think it’s coming to them, they think it’s their due. It isn’t. There’s always someone over there who can do it better.”

Bow before her, peasants. We’re all unworthy.

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Jodie Foster Married Her Girlfriend, Who Was Also Once Ellen’s Girlfriend

IMDB / Showtime

IMDB / Showtime

When Jodie Foster won the Cecil B. DeMille award at last year’s Golden Globes (video of that is below), she gave a lovely if rambling acceptance speech that for all practical purposes served as her official coming-out.

Afterwards, most people were all “that’s nice dear, please pass the salt,” while others insisted the rest of us were reading way too much into it and that just because a woman everyone already knew was gay pretty much said so on national television, she didn’t explicitly say it so HEY LIBERALS STOP TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE GAY.

But now Foster’s rep has confirmed that Jodie and her girlfriend of nearly a year, actress and photographer Alexandra Hedison, wifed-up and tied the knot this weekend. THANKS OBAMA.

Hedison’s acting credits include three seasons as Dylan Moreland on the Showtime series “The L Word,” and her personal resume includes a three-year stint as Ellen DeGeneres‘ girlfriend (they split way back in 2004). As for Jodie, she’s been single since 2008, when she and her partner of 20 years, Cydney Bernard — affectionately mentioned in her Globes speech — parted ways after having two kids together.

No word on whether the bride(s) wore white or who was there or even where the nuptials took place. But unless you think she’s been forced into marriage by Beyonce and Jay-Z and the rest of the Illuminati, the whole “is Jodie Foster really gay” question has probably now been settled once and for all.

On another note, I’ve never seen “The L Word” but apparently Alex was super hot on it. As Michael K over at dlisted so eloquently put it, “I’m gayer than a squirt of strawberry-scented lube on a purple glitter dildo and even I wanted to marry Alexandra when she was on ‘The L Word.’”

Well played, Jodie. Well played.

Alicia Silverstone Thinks Diapers, Tampons and Vaccines Are the Greatest Tricks the Devil Ever Pulled

Amazon

Amazon

If you don’t pay much attention to celebrity news, you probably only know Alicia Silverstone as “the blonde one” in old Aerosmith videos and/or as the spoiled-but-sweet Cher from “Clueless.” But in recent years, she’s gained a reputation as a stereotypical hippie mom who does crazy shit like pre-chewing her son Bear’s (yes, that’s his name) food and then spitting it back into his mouth.

Now she’s written a book full of wizened bon mots to “show you the way to have a luminous, present, ailment-free pregnancy.” Along the way, she’ll “help prevent or even cure your PMS, insomnia, allergies, breakouts, weight struggles, thyroid condition, lupus, multiple sclerosis—while significantly lowering your risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.”

Sounds legit.

Here’s a brief preview (courtesy of the Daily Beast) of what you’ll find in the book.

  • Silverstone says diapers are “fueled by corporate-backed pseudoscience” and that if you just pay attention to your child’s “cues,” duh, you won’t need them.

She noticed that “when Bear looked like he was flirting with me, smiling sweetly, or looking deep into my eyes, he’d be peeing.” Another signal was when he would “stare off into space for a second.” She assures readers that it’s “not all guesswork” and if you’re really in tune with your maternal instincts, then you too may start referring to yourself as a “potty whisperer.” And there are myriad benefits for EC-trained babies, who are “much more content leaving their business in the grass than having to sleep and eat accompanied by their own pee and poo.”

Call me part of the problem, but if you show up to my house with an undiapered baby, the lawn is about the only place I’ll let you hang.

  • About tampons, she says:

“[Y]our chichi is the most absorbent part of your body. Unfortunately, feminine-care manufacturers aren’t required to tell you what’s in their products, which means that no one’s talking about the potential pesticide residues from non-organic cotton and the ‘fragrances’ containing hormone-upsetting, fertility-knocking phthalates that are snuggling up to your hoo-ha.”

Chichi? Hoo-ha? Mighty cutesy verbiage for someone trying to convince us tampons are tiny little Molotov cocktails.

  • About vaccines, she doesn’t go full-on Jenny McCarthy (or fellow anti-vax idiot Kristin Cavallari), but she does say:

“While there has not been a conclusive study of the negative effects of such a rigorous one-size-fits-all, shoot-’em-up schedule, there is increasing anecdotal evidence from doctors who have gotten distressed phone calls from parents claiming their child was ‘never the same’ after receiving a vaccine. And I personally have friends whose babies were drastically affected in this way.”

What greater control group could you possibly want than a group of Alicia Silverstone’s friends. And while, yeah, she doesn’t sound quite as unhinged as McCarthy and Cavallari, questioning the safety of vaccines like this is increasingly dangerous.

Blerg.

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Your Fantasy Boyfriend Jon Hamm Just Called Justin Bieber a ‘Shithead’

The truth will set you free. And sell a ton of magazines.

The truth will set you free. And sell a ton of magazines.

Back in 2012, ‘Mad Men’ star Jon Hamm famously said what everyone else was thinking when he told British Elle:

“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”

This hurt Kim’s widdle feewings and caused her to take an unprecedented break from her exhausting schedule of posting selfies and breastfeeding E! Online to shoot back (via Twitter, of course) with, “Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless.”

Then someone shot a laser pointer at the wall and she scampered off.

Hamm, however, is still adorably unafraid of speaking his mind, because our favorite non-sufferer of fools (and underwear) is now back in the news, telling truth about Justin Bieber to the May issue of Men’s Fitness:

“Look at Bieber or whoever. You’re like, ‘What the fuck, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame. [He should have] a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, shithead!’

You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish?’ Life skills are something we’re missing … just shit you needed to learn in life. There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just shit you needed to learn in life.”

He’s totally right, of course. Too bad Bieber’s parents are so worthless — his dad is a violent loser and his mom has always been too busy being a leech to give him any boundaries.

But never mind all that. Can we get Jon to write a YA book? “Life Lessons with Jon Hamm” would be a runaway bestseller.

Talking ‘Drag Race’ with Chiffon Dior — Episode 10: How I Met Your Drag Mother

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Hello, hello, hello! It’s time for another edition of the number one rated “RuPaul’s Drag Race” recap column on Blabberazzi, “Talking Drag Race with Chiffon Dior.” We’re coming down the home stretch for this season and the competition is hot and heavy. Lots of people think that, barring a Britney Spears-esque meltdown, Bianca Del Rio is headed to victory, but anything can happen in the magical world of reality television — so let’s head down to the work room, shall we, kittens? [ more >> ]

‘X-Men’ Director Bryan Singer Accused of Raping Little Boys

Twitter

Twitter

Here, lemme just start with the tl;dr version of this story: A 31-year-old guy named Michael Egan says that when he was about 15, “X-Men” director Bryan Singer began sexually abusing him under the guise of helping him establish an acting career. Now Egan has filed a civil suit and wants a whole bunch of money for it.

Here’s the more detailed version: When Egan was 15, he and his family moved to L.A. from Nevada so he could become an actor and a model. Not long afterward, Egan wound up at a pool party at an estate in Encino, which was apparently some sort of hotbed (so to speak) where men lured twinks, plied them with drugs and alcohol, and then had sex with them — all while promising to make them stars.

If you want the really detailed version, toddle over to The Wrap, which has excerpts from the legal documents and such. And TMZ (because of course TMZ) has video of a presser Egan did earlier today.

Are the accusations true? Who knows.

Of course Singer’s rep has denied everything ever, calling the allegations “defamatory” and “completely without merit,” but we do know that in 1997, Singer was unsuccessfully sued by a 14-year-old extra from his movie “Apt Pupil” who said that during a shower scene, Singer made him (and other little boys) get nekkid. The rumor was that he saved that footage for his own personal use.

But back to Egan’s claims. Look, I don’t know any more about this than anyone else, and Michael K over at dlisted heard about Singer’s twink parties a long time ago, so something hinky probably WAS going on.

That said, Jeff Herman, the lawyer who’s representing Egan, is the same one who represented five guys with dubious claims against “Sesame Street” Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash a couple years ago. Four of those cases were dismissed, and the remaining plaintiff never could get his story straight — and was just sentenced to jail for being a thief.

“Hollywood has a problem with the sexual exploitation of children,” Herman said. “This is the first of many cases I will be filing to give these victims a voice and to expose the issue.”

He’s almost certainly right about Hollywood’s exploitation of children. I’d just feel a lot better about his sense of justice if it didn’t have so many dollar signs attached.